By Yin Nwe Ko
IN the warm summer of 2023, a joyful and radiant Ivy Jacobsen stood at the end of the aisle, ready to take one of the most significant steps of her life. It was a beautiful day in Chelan, Washington, with the sun shining down on a perfect outdoor wedding venue. Ivy, her blonde hair styled in a loose bun, looked stunning in a simple yet elegant white gown, featuring a subtle ruffle at the back. On this day, she was ready to marry her love, Tristen Jurgensen, a sheriff’s deputy who, like Ivy, was 28 years old. As Tristen stood at the altar, dressed in a tailored blue-grey suit, he could hardly hold back the tears as he saw his bride approaching.
More than 300 guests gathered to witness the couple’s special day, framed by the natural beauty of the Rocky Mountains and tall pine trees. The green grass beneath Ivy’s feet and the blue sky above, speckled with soft white clouds, made the scene feel like something out of a fairy tale. But this moment of happiness and peace was hard-earned for Ivy, who had endured a deeply traumatic childhood. Beneath her joyful smile was a history of unimaginable pain and survival.
From a young age, Ivy had been abused by her father, living in constant fear for herself, her mother, and her younger siblings. Despite the abuse, she found strength in a supportive network of people who helped her through her darkest times. Looking back, Ivy knew that the love and support she received were key to her healing and survival. This network consisted of friends, mentors, coaches, and family members, most of whom had played significant roles in her life. It was for this reason that Ivy wanted to do something unique at her wedding to honour them. Instead of having just one person give her away, she invited all 15 of the most influential men in her life to escort her down the aisle.
These men, who had become father figures to Ivy in various ways, came from all over to be part of this special occasion. They had each supported her at different points in her life, and while they weren’t all related to her by blood, they had two things in common: they loved Ivy, and they had been there for her when she needed them most.
At the wedding, these 15 men, dressed in matching khaki pants and crisp white shirts, lined the aisle, ready to guide Ivy toward the altar. Among them were her high school English teacher and golf coach, who had allowed Ivy to find solace in his classroom during difficult times. Also present were six of her former basketball coaches, who had seen her grow from a shy fourth-grader learning to dribble into a confident high school varsity player. Several relatives were there too, including her younger brother, her future brother-in-law, and her maternal uncle, as well as other “uncles” who were family friends that Ivy considered part of her extended family. Standing proudly among them was a police officer who had inspired Ivy to escape her abusive home.
As Ivy took her steps down the aisle, she paused every few moments to take the hands of two new fatherly figures, exchanging tearful smiles and heartfelt glances. When the officiant finally asked, “Who gives this woman to be married to this man?” a collective chorus of deep voices responded, “We do.” It was a powerful moment that symbolized the strength of the bonds Ivy had formed with the men who had stepped in to protect, mentor, and love her.
Ivy’s journey to this beautiful wedding day was anything but easy. She was in the sixth grade when the abuse from her father began. He manipulated and controlled nearly every aspect of her life, from what she wore to who she could talk to. At home, he was violent towards her mother and younger siblings, creating an environment of constant fear. Although Ivy excelled in school and sports, the reality behind closed doors was grim. Her father kept a tight grip on her life, even going as far as to prevent her from accessing the internet or having a cell phone. He prohibited her from wearing clothes he deemed too “girly” and would often accompany her on shopping trips to ensure she bought only what he approved. Most of all, he instilled a deep mistrust of others, especially law enforcement, warning her that “bad things would happen to Dad” if she ever told anyone about the abuse. Despite the fear, Ivy managed to form a close connection with a school resource officer named Officer White. She met him while working as a student assistant in the main office of her middle school, where Officer White’s office was located nearby. Their relationship started casually, with small chats about school and sports, and a friendly competition to see who could hang the most holiday decorations in the school halls. It was one of the few sources of fun in Ivy’s otherwise painful childhood. Though Ivy never confided in Officer White about what was happening at home, his presence gave her a sense of safety she had never experienced before. Still, the fear of her father finding out kept her from revealing the truth.
Everything changed when Ivy was a sophomore in high school. Her best friend, noticing that something was deeply wrong, confronted her and asked if she was okay. Though Ivy was terrified to answer, she knew she couldn’t continue living in fear. She confided in her friend, who then told her parents. The next day, a detective came to Ivy’s school to talk to her, asking her to share what was happening at home. Ivy was hesitant, remembering her father’s warnings never to trust the police. But her positive experiences with Officer White gave her the courage to speak up. She told the detective everything. Soon after, Ivy’s father was arrested by none other than Officer White. Although life improved after her father was taken into custody, the road to recovery was long and difficult. Financial struggles followed the arrest, and Ivy’s family needed a safe place to stay after her father was released on bail. One of Ivy’s uncles stepped in, providing not only shelter but also emotional support. He attended her basketball games, paid for her participation in sports, and even bought her dresses for school dances. Other father figures in her life also showed up, offering their love and encouragement.
As Ivy faced three gruelling court trials against her father, these men continued to support her. Her basketball coaches sat in the courtroom, flashing reassuring smiles and offering nods of encouragement as Ivy testified about the worst moments of her life. Their presence gave her the strength to continue, even when the first two trials resulted in hung juries. In the third trial, in the summer of 2013, Ivy’s father was finally convicted and sentenced to nearly 16 years in prison. Throughout it all, Ivy’s “uncles” and mentors remained by her side, never wavering in their commitment to help her heal.
After her father’s conviction, Ivy began to rebuild her life. She got her driver’s license, a cell phone, and the freedom to explore who she was without fear. She ditched her father’s restrictive clothing choices and embraced her style, wearing fitted jeans and vibrant tops, experimenting with makeup, and enjoying typical teenage experiences. She also became determined to help other victims of abuse. At her high school graduation in 2014, Ivy shared her story publicly for the first time in front of 6,000 people. The response was overwhelmingly positive, and she soon began volunteering as a spokesperson for Dawson Place Child Advocacy Center, the nonprofit that had helped her during her legal battles.
After graduation, Ivy stayed in touch with Officer White and began to pursue a career in law enforcement. Encouraged by her mentor, James, a juvenile corrections officer, Ivy enrolled in the police academy. Today, she works as a school resource officer for the East Wenatchee Police Department, offering the same support and protection to students that Officer White had once given her.
On her wedding day, surrounded by the 15 men who had helped her through the darkest times of her life, Ivy was no longer the scared little girl her father had tried to control. She had become a strong, independent woman, ready to start a new chapter with Tristen by her side. As the soft melody of Calum Scott’s “You Are the Reason” played, Ivy and Tristen’s love story came full circle — a testament to the power of resilience, love, and the unwavering support of those who care.
Reference: Reader’s Digest October, 2024