By Dr Than Lwin Tun
IN A world often driven by desires, aspirations, and immediate satisfaction, it is easy to become passionate about what we want to be. These desires, whether materialistic, celebrity-driven, or status-oriented, seem to dominate our goals and ambitions. However, focusing solely on what we want to be can lead to a shallow existence, driven by external validation and passing pleasures. Instead, we should prioritize what we should be the qualities, roles, and responsibilities that contribute to our growth, well-being, and the well-being of those around us. By shifting our focus from what we want to be to what we should be, we can foster a deeper sense of purpose, fulfilment, and societal contribution.
Understanding “What You Should Be” versus “What You Want to Be”
At the core of this discussion lies an important distinction: the difference between what we want to be and what we should be. “What you want to be” is often based on external desires or personal interests; it could involve wanting to be famous, rich, or admired. These goals are frequently tied to material success or the pursuit of passing pleasures. While there is nothing inherently wrong with having ambitions, when they are the sole focus, they can lead to dissatisfaction and a lack of meaning.
On the other hand, “what you should be” refers to the values, responsibilities, and qualities that we are meant to cultivate to live a fulfilling life. It involves striving to be a person of integrity, kindness, resilience, and responsibility. Focusing on what we should be centres around personal growth, the development of character, and contributing positively to our communities. It encourages us to think about our roles in a broader sense and how we can contribute to the collective good.
The Condition for Prioritizing What You Should Be
1. Personal Fulfilment Through Growth and Responsibility
When we prioritize what we should be, we are embracing the long-term process of growth and responsibility. Becoming a person of character, empathy, and discipline requires consistent effort and introspection. These qualities not only improve our personal lives but also allow us to build meaningful relationships with others. While pursuing what we want to be may provide temporary satisfaction, it rarely leads to lasting fulfilment. In contrast, focusing on the person we should be someone who lives by values, takes responsibility for their actions, and contributes to society provides a sense of deep satisfaction that is rooted in purpose and integrity.
2. The Danger of Materialism and Superficial Success
The world often pushes us toward materialistic goals the desire for wealth, status, or fame. While these goals can seem appealing, they can also be hollow. When we focus solely on what we want to be, we risk losing sight of what truly matters. Achieving external success without cultivating inner qualities such as empathy, patience, and humility may leave us feeling unfulfilled. Additionally, the pursuit of material wealth or status may cause us to neglect our responsibilities toward others and ourselves. In contrast, prioritizing what we should be encourages a life that values internal growth over external recognition, leading to a deeper sense of meaning and lasting contentment.
3. Building Resilience and Purpose
Life is fundamentally filled with challenges, and the path to success is rarely smooth. When we focus on what we should be, we develop resilience and perseverance. Instead of chasing after a passing image of success, we build the mental and emotional fortitude needed to face setbacks and adversity. The qualities that define what we should be, such as discipline, humility, and perseverance, equip us with the tools to navigate difficult circumstances. In turn, this resilience fosters a sense of purpose that transcends the ups and downs of life, allowing us to stay grounded and focused on what truly matters.
4. Contributing to the Greater Good
A key component of prioritizing what we should be is the recognition that we are part of a larger community. It is not just about our personal growth, but how we can contribute to the well-being of others. By focusing on qualities such as kindness, compassion, and responsibility, we are better equipped to serve those around us. Whether it’s through our work, our relationships, or our broader societal engagement, prioritizing what we should be ensures that our actions have a positive and lasting impact on the world. This perspective fosters a sense of connection to something greater than us, creating a life that is both meaningful and impactful.
The Challenge of Balancing Wants and Should
While the case for prioritizing what we should be is clear, it is important to recognize that our wants and desires are not basically bad. Desiring success, happiness, or personal fulfilment is part of being human. However, the key is balance. We can still pursue our ambitions, but they should not overshadow the development of our character and responsibilities. By ensuring that our goals align with what we should be, we can create a life that honours both our desires and the greater good.
To find this balance, we must reflect on our goals and ask ourselves: What do I truly want? Is it something that aligns with my values and can contribute to the well-being of others? Am I willing to prioritize the qualities that will make me a better person, even if they don’t immediately lead to the success I desire? This self-reflection helps ensure that our desires are grounded in purpose and that our actions are aligned with our deeper values.
Moreover, prioritizing what we should be rather than what we want to be is a powerful approach to living a meaningful and fulfilling life. While desires are natural and can motivate us to achieve great things, they should not be the sole driving force behind our actions. By focusing on qualities such as integrity, resilience, and responsibility, we not only become better individuals but also contribute positively to the world around us. The path to true fulfilment lies not in the pursuit of superficial goals but in the development of character and the ability to live in alignment with our values. In this way, we can create lives that are not only successful by external measures but also deeply meaningful, purposeful, and grounded in what truly matters.
